Monday, December 17, 2012

The Time Is Upon Us

Something just has to be done….

I’ve written far too many blogs precipitated by horrific acts similar to the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday December 14. And while I find myself asking once again, when will this madness cease, I know there is no end date . . . and, sadly, there will continue to be more incomprehensible violence and more senseless deaths.

During the vigil on Sunday, President Barack Obama said, “We’ve endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years. . . . And we’re going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.” While I am heartened by President Obama’s words, the reality is that we are steeped in a culture of violence, with far too many guns in the hands of those who pervert our Second Amendment right to bear arms.

So, let’s do a reality check. When our Constitution was written, “arms” meant muskets. Our forefathers had no way of foreseeing that arms would one day mean a high-powered, semiautomatic Bushmaster rifle, the weapon used in Sandy Hook and also by D.C snipers John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, who in 2002, killed 10 people and critically wounded three.

Our forefathers had no way of foreseeing that arms would mean a semiautomatic Glock 9mm handgun, the weapon found in Sandy Hook and the type used in the 2011 shooting at a shopping center in Arizona that killed six people and wounded then-Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 12 others, or the 2007 massacre at Virginia Tech where 32 people were killed and 17 wounded, or the .40-caliber Glock used by the gunman in the Colorado movie theater in July, where 12 people were killed and dozens more were wounded.

Our forefathers had no way of foreseeing that arms would mean a 9mm SIG Sauer pistol, the weapon found in Sandy Hook and which was used also in the Standard Gravure shooting that left eight people dead and 12 wounded; or the 9 mm semiautomatic handgun with multiple ammunition magazines used to kill six people and wound three at the Sikh temple in Wisconsin and in the execution-style massacre at the Amish school in Pennsylvania.

The list of disturbing examples is far too long and far too sickening to my stomach to continue.

So what can be done? What “meaningful action” does the President have in mind? As Pierre Thomas said, “The genie is out of the bottle.”

“Meaningful action” must be multifold. We, as citizens, must raise our voices and demand by our votes a federal a ban on assault weapons. We, as citizens, must raise our voices demand by our votes that legislators turn their backs on gun lobbyists and turn and face instead those they represent with a commitment to safety; we, as a society, need to address the gaps in the treatment of mental health in this country; and we, as human beings, need to question our ethics when it comes to accepting as normal brazen violence in our movies, our videos games, our music.

Meaningful action . . . . Let us as a nation resolve in the New Year to define what the meaningful action will be, devise an actionable plan, and commit to not giving up on this goal until a safer America is a reality.

Originally written for KidsTerrain

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thoughts of Resilience - Part Three

We all need reminders of the strengths we have. And we can cultivate resilience by embracing these three directives: by knowing what you have, by knowing who you are, and by knowing what you are capable of doing.
  • What You Have: strong relationships and connections to others, structure and discipline, dedication and desire, role models and mentors 
  • Who You Are: a person who embraces that Holy Grail of attitudes – optimism, who has hope and faith, who cares about others, and who is proud of oneself 
  • What You Are Capable of Doing: communicating your needs and desires, being flexible in your thinking, critical and creative in solving problems, demonstrates genuine empathy and good emotional intelligence, fosters good relationships 
Here are a seven tips to learn how you can become more resilient and overcome life's big disappointments:
  1. Avoid seeing crises or setbacks as insurmountable problems. Crises, setbacks, failure happens to everyone. And while at times you may never understand what happened, you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Look for that valuable negative information that you guide you to greater understanding and better outcomes in the future. 
  2. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience. 
  3. Be patient and self-reflective. 
  4. Know what you want. If you have goals, it's easier to make plans and move forward. Remember Yogi Berra: If you don’t know where you’re going, you just might end up somewhere else. 
  5. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. Adversity offers one of the best ways we can learn something about ourselves. 
  6. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed and focus instead on circumstances that you can alter. 
  7. Take risks. Be courageous. 
As Aristotle said: Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees the others. Courage without a clear sense of one’s own abilities is foolhardy. Courage without good judgment is blind. It is taking risks without knowing what is worth the risk. Courage without perseverance is short-lived.

It is possible to bounce back from adversity and go on to live a healthy, fulfilling life. And resilience, I believe, just may be the ultimate path to living a flourishing life.

Have a joyful day everyone...

Monday, December 10, 2012

Thoughts on Resilience - Part Two

Each of us has a considerable capacity for strength. And while sometimes it is easier to embrace being a victim of circumstances, that role removes the obligation to change. Resilient people do not let adversity define them. Instead, they rise above adversity—poverty, abuse, neglect violence, molestation or war—and forge a stronger, more durable character.

Resilience is the means by which we are not immobilized by hardship, but rather bounce back from it stronger, determined, empowered, and able to lead gratifying, flourishing lives.

The greatest weapon in our arsenal is our ability to choose one thought over another. But our choices must be wise. So how can you tell if you are making bad choices? To often we get caught in the ‘Different set of circumstance, different situation, same old crappy outcome’ trap, when we are ensnared by the habits that do not serve us. To begin to make better choices it is necessary to go back and examine and reflect on past events in order to find the strengths you have within.

Many psychologists today preach that it's not really until adulthood that people begin to surmount the difficulties of childhood and to rebuild their lives. But let’s set the record straight. That concept goes back more than 2300 years … back to Aristotle.

In the Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle writes that there are two times in our lives when our character is shaped. The first is when we are children. At this time our habits and attitudes are shaped by our parents and our early teachers, who taught us the best they knew how based on what they learned. While these early rules and habit formations were central to our character development, sometimes these lessons were negative.

Our adult conception of the world, however, comes from within and is self-directed. Thus, Aristotle states, we need to look back at those early lessons, those habits we developed, and determine if they serve us or if they are habits that do not serve us. And then we must ask ourselves, “Is this the kind of person I want to be?”

Have a joyful day everyone...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Thoughts About Resilience - Part One

Resilience is that quality, that ability that enables some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than before. Rather than allowing crises or failure to drain their resolve, they tapped a reservoir of determination that allows them to rise up strong and resolute.

There are several factors that make someone resilient: an attitude of optimism and hope, the ability to manage strong emotions, and the ability to see failure as valuable negative information.

Let’s talk about that F word for a moment. Failure stirs up potent social emotions: humiliation, guilt, shame. Yet, failure is, at worst, a mixed blessing: It hurts, yet, failure can pay off in the form of learning, growth, and wisdom.

Learning is error-driven. Nothing ever invented was created right the first time. I recall hearing the story of Robert Goddard, a physics instructor at Clark University constructed and tested the first liquid fuel rocket in Auburn, Massachusetts, in March of 1926. The rocket flew to an altitude of 41 ft and landed 184 ft away, crashing into the snow. The flight lasted 2.5 seconds. Although the experiment was primitive, the flight was epochal, setting the stage for era of space exploration that’s part and parcel of our history.

The lesson here is that for Goddard, experimental failures were ‘valuable negative information’.

Some psychologists argue that adversity, setbacks, and even trauma may actually be necessary for people to be happy, successful, and fulfilled. There’s even a term for it: "Post-traumatic growth." To support this they point to successful people such as Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey – folks who credit their accomplishments to earlier failures and childhood traumas that pushed them to the edge of the abyss. Nietzsche: “When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”

Setbacks actually force us to take risks, to learn, and to grow. Failure is an opportunity to change course. We must learn to seize it, rather than be seized by it.

Have a joyful day everyone...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Fear's Connection to Anxiety

While there is a distinction between fear and anxiety, for many people it is merely a matter of language. For example, I will say I have a fear of water when, in fact, what I experience is anxiety about being in the water.

Fear is a natural reaction of the mind-body system that is triggered by danger. Once danger passes, so does the fear response. The body calms down and returns to normal state of balance.

Anxiety bypasses the body, trapping panicky thoughts. The voice of fear paints scenarios of disaster that seem believable. And panicky thoughts can quickly become obsessive.

As anxiety takes hold it becomes more difficult to make rational decisions and the voice of fear becomes more believable. Rationality is bypassed; what you believe is what matters. And most of the time, what we fear, what we worry about never materializes.

Be mindful of your anxious thoughts. When anxiety or the act of worrying becomes excessive and all consuming, it may be time to talk with your primary care physician.

Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.

To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site,

Thursday, August 2, 2012

It's About Time

H. Jackson Brown, Jr. wrote, "Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

Time management, in a nutshell, is how we get things done. When you develop good time management skills you are in control of your time, your life, and your stress level. So, if you feel the need to be more organized, more productive, start by considering the following:

1) Identify your Time Bandits. Do you set out to check your e-mail, or your Facebook page updates, or your favorite Internet news site, and suddenly find that ninety minutes has flown by? Do you set out to play fifteen minutes of online games such as Farmville, Word Twist, Rummikub “just to clear my mind” and suddenly three hours has passed you by? Meet your Time Bandits — those insidious time-wasters that steal time we could be using much more productively.

2) Establish routines and stick to them as much as possible. While unexpected interruptions or crises will arise, you will be more productive if you have a plan of action to follow.

3) Set time limits for tasks. Reading and answering e-mail can consume a large portion of your day if you are not mindful. Set a time limit of one hour a day for this task and stick to it. If checking e-mail is part of your work routine, plan no more than 4 to 6, ten-minute intervals each day.

Making these simple, small changes can help lower your stress. For more ways to live a flourishing life, 
visit my web site:

Embrace joy. Be mindful. Live a flourishing Life.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Words of Wisdom That Changed Me

In the midst of winter,
I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.
~ Albert Camus

The above quote was featured on a card I received from one of my college philosophy professors. It arrived at a time in my life when my world seemed so cold and bleak. I was twenty-two years old, living in Ohio while attending graduate school. I was still reeling psychically from the murder of my father just days before Christmas that past December. It was my winter of discontent.

Yet, those fifteen words by Albert Camus sparked an inner strength, a flicker of joy, and awakened a dormant, indomitable soul. While many of you cannot identify with the murder of a loved one, I know everyone can identify an event in their life that has staggered them, made them feel helpless.

Allow me to share an exercise I give my students in the Stress Management class. They are to submit a quotation or passage that they found to be inspirational and motivating, and include a 1-2 page explanation as to why the saying had meaning to them, and how it affected their actions.

Okay, dear reader, time to do your homework… Select your favorite quote and answer these two questions for yourself: What this quote means to me, and How this quote affects my life. Would love to have you share response with me.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Serenity Now

Most people upon hearing the words "serenity now!" recall the famous Seinfeld episode where Frank Costanza is advised to say "serenity now" aloud every time his blood pressure is in danger of going up. The episode's plot was inspired by real-life events of writer Steve Koren who, while driving with his arguing parents, was bewildered to hear his father shout "Serenity now" at the top of his lungs as part of a rage controlling exercise. 

"Calmness of mind" James Allen wrote, "is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control." Like Frank Costanza screaming "serenity now," a churning mind eventually may lead one to blow. 

Often we become anxious about things we cannot change: the economy, the weather, our commute to work. Recognizing the difference between what we can and cannot change can help us live more peaceful and productive lives. Patience and perseverance leads to success in our endeavors.

The Serenity Prayer has special meaning to those who are often looking for peace during times of turmoil, despair, or uncertainty in their lives. Closely associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, the Serenity Prayer offers strength and calm into those seeking a more stable life. Written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, most people are familiar with this first stanza:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

However, Niebuhr's prayer also included these concepts:
  • Living one day at a time
  • Enjoying one moment at a time
  • Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Managing stress is a pathway to having serenity now. Meditation and mindful prayer help the mind and the body to relax and focus. As psychologist Ron Breazeale wrote in an article for Psychology Today entitled "WaysTo Manage Chronic Stress, "these techniques can give you "insight into new perspectives, to develop self-compassion and forgiveness and to begin to rethink the priorities in your life."

Here are a few ABCs to bring serenity into your life now:

Ask:  . . . yourself this question -- What is it about this situation that I can manage?

Breathe: Stop and take 10 mindful breaths. Nothing special is required to do so, just focus. Be aware of your breath coming in and then going out.

Connect:  . . . with a friend. Don’t e-mail or text. Pick up the phone and hear his or her voice. Better yet, plan some face time together. (That's Face time as in getting together, not Facebook time!)

Do: … absolutely nothing! Spend time with yourself, your thoughts, your dreams.

Exercise: Go for a walk, a bike ride, kayak down a peaceful.

Forgive: . . . yourself first, then others.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Remarkable Power of Resilience

Often we talk about resilience  as that extraordinary capacity some people have for bouncing back in the face of adversity, trauma, or tragedy. And while research has shown that resilience is ordinary and not extraordinary, and that people commonly demonstrate the characteristics and factors that make for resilience, sometimes we do witness extraordinary examples of lives transformed through the power of resilience.

When I think about the remarkable power of resilience, two people come to mind immediately: Congresswoman Gabrielle "Gabby" Giffords and her husband, Commander Mark Kelly.  Giffords, as you may recall, was shot in the head by Jared Laughner in 2011. While doctors were cautiously optimistic about her recovery, Commander Kelly had little doubt his Gabby would recover. He knew his wife embodied "The Right Stuff," beginning with a firm attitude of optimism, and so he encouraged her doctors to develop a resilience plan as part of her recovery. 

A resilience plan has been shown to reduce the frequency and intensity of post-traumatic stress disorders and other health problems that occur after a personal disaster, allowing those affected to recover more quickly and completely.

During the couple's interview with Diane Sawyer, we were reminded how Gabby was once called, "the most positive person in Congress," quite a feat considering the craziness that occurs daily on Capitol Hill. Knowing that optimism was at the core of Gabby's being, and his belief that "Optimism is a form of healing; hope is a form of love," Kelly posted a sign outside her hospital room for visitors: No Crying.

Resilient optimism is not the rose-colored glasses view of the world. Resilient optimism recognizes that bad things happen. Yet, rather than wallowing in catastrophic thinking -- that tendency to assume the worst and to perseverate about irrational worst-case outcomes -- resilient optimists acknowledge and manage their strong feelings, looking for the valuable negative information that edifies the foundation of the learning experience 

Research on resilience has also shown us that people who struggle with their emotions, fear in particularly, may become more restrictive and rigid in their view of the themselves and their place in the world. To help Gabby hold on to that attitude of optimism and build her inner strength, the doctors advised that she be kept unaware of the full extent of the tragedy that occurred that day -- the lives lost, the people injured – until her road to recovery was more firmly established.

Studies in resilience, too, have repeatedly underscored the significance of social relationships, our connectedness to others. Visits from family and friends offered Gabby encouragement and confidence.

Another example of the remarkable power of resilience is Christopher Reeve. On May 27, 1995, actor Christopher Reeve was thrown headfirst from his horse during a jumping competition, shattering the first two vertebrae in his neck. Upon regaining consciousness and realizing he was totally paralyzed, Reeve thought that the best thing to do would be "to slip away."

Unable to speak because he had no ability to exhale air, he mouthed to his wife Dana, "Maybe we should let me go."

Dana responded, "I will support whatever you want to do, because this is your life, and your decision. But I want you to know that I'll be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You are still you. And I love you."  Her response is another example of the resilient power of our connected to others. Reeve wrote, "She made living seem possible, because I felt the depth of her love and commitment."

While catastrophic thinking -- ruminating about irrational worst-case outcomes -- is contrary to resilience, it is not uncommon for survivors of catastrophic accidents to think obsessively about what happened. Reeve said that for the first year he "wondered over and over about the accident. The jump was a relatively easy one. Why did his horse balk at this jump? Was it a freak accident? Did he move forward in the saddle before he should have?" However, as his resilient spirit grew stronger, he realized that endless speculation about what happened served no purpose other than to torment him.

So what can we learn from these three resilient spirits? I offer the following:
  • Acknowledge that loss or illness is inevitable. By developing and nurturing a resilient spirit at the core of our being, little that can transpire that can affect us permanently.
  • Know that connectedness to others is vital, and so we must cultivate relationships that create love and trust.
  • Learn to communicate effectively your needs.
  • Be flexible; accept that change is a part of living. 
  • Develop goals and realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • Live an authentic life. Believe in what you do and do it with joy, gratitude, and grace.
  • Find the positive in experiences and avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
  • Be spiritually connected, whether through an organized religion or by adopting a philosophy of life.

Christopher Reeve, in writing about his spiritual journey, said: "I have come to believe that spirituality is found in the way we live our daily lives. It means spending time thinking about others. It's not so hard to imagine that there is some kind of higher power. We don't have to know what form it takes or exactly where it exists; just to honor it and try to live by it is enough."

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

It's Not Your Life, It's His (or Hers)

Ann Landers had some good advice when it came to sticking our nose where it doesn't belong. She said simply this: "Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business."

Great advice, indeed! Yet, sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We witness an event, hear a news story about something someone said or did, and we think to ourselves (or more likely say to others), "I would never have done that!" or "That’s not how I would have responded."

The frustration or anger that can well inside us from situations that are not only out of our control, but have nothing to do with us, chips away at our peace of mind and releases stress hormones which, left unattended, can lead to health-related problems. As I've said before in previous blogs, managing stress begins with recognizing and understanding the habits that serve us and the habits that don’t serve us. Developing a plan for managing stress requires an understanding of and commitment to the change process, and then taking small steps to change those identified behaviors that keep us from living a flourishing life.

So, ask yourself…honestly…
  • Do you find yourself frustrated, annoyed, or angered by the actions (or words) of others that have nothing to do with you?
  • Do you take as a personal affront situations that have nothing to do with you?
  • Do you sometimes meddle in what does not concern you?
Let's see how involved you are in other people's matters. True or false…

1. When I find myself eavesdropping on others’ conversations, I draw conclusions. T F

2. When I’m out to dinner, other diners’ misbehaving children irritate me. T F

3. While my spouse (partner, friend) is on the phone, I make comments in response to his or her conversation. T F

4. People who drive cautiously drive me nuts. T F

If you saw yourself in the above scenarios, perhaps it's time to make some changes. A good way to go about changing behavior that does not serve you is to examine your history, your actions, and your reactions.

Here are a few questions I have my students explore. Get yourself a journal or notebook. Take some quiet time and really reflect on these questions. Answer them honestly. This exercise is for you. Recognizing what motivates your behavior is the first step towards changing it.

1. Detail a scenario/situation that did not concern you, but did frustrate, anger, or annoy you.

2. How did the above scenario/situation make you feel?

3. Why do you think the scenario/situation affected you when it did not concern you?

4. Did the scenario/situation remind you of a personal event from your past? If so, what happened and how did you respond to it at the time?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

It's Brutal Honesty Time

This is not the blog I intended to write today. My intention was to write an uplifting article about the remarkable power of resilience, but I had to finish another assignment first. This is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and I had to write an article about dangerous websites that promote eating disorders.

As I was researching these websites I felt my insides literally churning. As I wrote about the need to instill in teens and adolescents messages of body confidence, hope and self-esteem, I came face-to-face with a brutal truth: I was disingenuous.

For years I've written, spoke, , trained about the importance of understanding one's self-worth. I even coined the phrase that self-worth is one element of the equation that makes for self-esteem: Self-confidence plus self-worth equals self-esteem. And let me tell you, I talk the talk about this pretty darned well. I encourage people to look at themselves in the mirror, to look straight into their eyes and tell themselves one good thing about themselves every day. I have them do this exercise to build a list of characteristics and traits that comprise their self-worth. And I encourage them to do this exercise with their children, too, because I do believe that if one is clear about one's self-worth, it is harder for one's self-confidence to be shaken. Or if one's self-confidence is shaken, rattled and rolled, you will be able to pick yourself up off the floor much quicker.

I also write, speak, teach, and train about the importance of exploring one's life story and getting to the truth of the habits that do not serve you. Our adult conception of the world comes from within and is self-directed. And so we need to look back at those early lessons, those habits we have developed, and determine if they serve us or if they do not serve us. And then we must ask ourselves: Is this the kind of person I want to be? I teach this because I do believe that it is in examining and understanding the larger context of our lives that we can live a more flourishing life.

So, why have I been disingenuous? Okay... Here it goes. (Read full article here)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Dangerous Web Sites Promoting Eating Disorders

Note: I wanted to share with you this blog I wrote for KidsTerrain for National eating Disorders Awareness Week. Eating disorders is a critical issue, so contrary to flourishing and well-being, and so dangerous and life-threatening. ~ Rita

(2/27/12 for KidsTerrain, Inc.)
First there was "thinspiration". . . and now we have "pro-ana" (pro-anorexia) and "pro-mia" (pro-bulimia)– websites dedicated to promoting the idea that eating disorders "are a good thing."

This month, the National Eating Disorders Association’s NEDAwareness Week, the largest eating disorders outreach effort in the country, is scheduled for February 26-March 3. The goal is to reach millions of people with messages of prevention, hope and recovery.

In support of NEDA’s efforts, KidsTerrain is offering web site visitors a free viewing of its webinar, Teaching Body Confidence, presented by Rebecca Manley, founder of the Multiservice Eating Disorders Association, Inc. (MEDA). The free viewing is available through March 15.

One goal of companies and organizations such as KidsTerrain and NEDA, respectively, is to counter-balance the insidious message of pro-ana groups and organizations who state they "do not promote anorexia and acknowledge that anorexia is a real medical disorder." The point of their existence is to give anorexics "a place to turn to discuss their illness in a non-judgmental environment." In fairness, some sites do thinly (no pun intended) promote recovery. However, others dispute the prevailing medical consensus that anorexia nervosa and bulimia are complex illnesses rather than "lifestyle choices."

According to the experts at Walden Behavioral Care, eating disorders have transitioned from a passing fad affecting college co-eds into a variety of life-threatening diseases that can affect anyone.

If someone you love seems to be losing weight rapidly, taking extreme measures to avoid eating, has radically changed their eating behavior, is exercising obsessively — all signs of eating disorder behavior–do something about it. Anorexia and bulimia are life-threatening diseases. Seek professional counseling immediately.

Friday, January 27, 2012

How Taking One Small Step Can Change Your Life

Can taking one, small step really change your life? Proponents of kaizen think so. (And for the record, so do I.) Kaizen is a means of making great and lasting change through small, steady increments. Kaizen's practical roots are based in the Japanese management concept for incremental (gradual, continuous) change (improvement): breaking tasks into small, manageable steps.

However, kaizen is also a way of life philosophy based on making little changes on a regular basis; it's about finding new, creative, and effective ways to improve one's life... from tackling the mundane to managing our stress to attaining our life vision.

Case in point ... (Read more)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Beware Those Stinkin' Thinkin' Traps

So, you've set your sight on getting in better shape this year. Losing weight and working out are at the top of your New Year's resolutions list. And you are determined to follow through this year.

But as you pop the Jane Fonda "Prime Time -- Fit & Strong" disk into the DVD player, you catch sight of the candy dish boasting a dilapidated pyramid of gold Ferrero Rocher candies. You grab the remote, put Jane on pause, and sidle up to the coffee table to re-stack those gold-wrapped delights into a perfect pyramid. Then, in an instant, you feel yourself beginning to waver.

"Oh, what's one little Ferrero Rocher? It would be a shame to throw these out. After all, I only buy them during the holiday season."

The next thing you know, you've popped not just one, but two, three, then four of those tasty chocolate and hazelnut, melt-in-your-mouth balls into your mouth. You quickly roll the gold and brown wrappers into a tight little wad and thrust it into the pocket of your new activewear.

And then it happens... one of those Stinkin' Thinkin' Traps, known as "all or none" thinking takes over, (Read More)