I was blessed to have two very resilient women in my life when I was a child -- my mother and my maternal grandmother. These remarkable women both had indomitable strength, fortitude, and grace. They instilled in me a belief that most anything in life was attainable if I set my focus and determination on my goal.
In my mid-twenties, and with their advice in mind, I created a guide for myself which I call The Four D's. No matter what I have set out to achieve in my life, I use The Four D's as my guideposts.
Desire - Know what you want to achieve
Direction - Plan how to get there
Dedication - Commit to your goal
Discipline - Work at it every day
I carry with me a little card with these words printed on it. If you'd like one of my cards, contact me via www.ritaschiano.com and I will be happy to give one to you, free of charge.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Learning From The Past
Most of us have gone through at least one event in our life that has challenged us to the core. Over the next several posts I will pose questions that will help you to examine those events and to identify the resilience skills and attitudes that you tapped; ones that you may not consciously realize or recognize that you have. This exercise will serve as a blueprint for building a resilience plan for yourself.
I recommend getting a notebook or journal. Take you time, ponder the question, and write your response as detailed as possible. After a few days, revisit the question and review your answer. Add to it if necessary.
Question #1: What are events (natural disaster, death of loved one, divorce, financial challenges) that I have experienced in my life that were extremely stressful to me?
To explore more fully how to building a resilience plan for yourself, you may wish to explore the process book I developed, Live A Flourishing Life.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
I recommend getting a notebook or journal. Take you time, ponder the question, and write your response as detailed as possible. After a few days, revisit the question and review your answer. Add to it if necessary.
Question #1: What are events (natural disaster, death of loved one, divorce, financial challenges) that I have experienced in my life that were extremely stressful to me?
To explore more fully how to building a resilience plan for yourself, you may wish to explore the process book I developed, Live A Flourishing Life.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
How Good A Listener Are You?
Listening is an essential part of effective communication. Listening is different from hearing. Listening enhances your capacity for understanding and empathy. When you listen to what another is saying, you begin to see the world through his or her viewpoint.
How are you in a conversation? Do you get impatient? Daydream? Multi-task? Focus solely on the person talking with you? Take the test to find out.
Scale: 1 - Always; 2 - Frequently; 3 - Sometimes; 4 - Never
_____ Do you interrupt others or finish their sentences?
_____ Do you find yourself thinking, "Hurry up! Finish the story already!"
_____ When I'm on the telephone, I often engage in another activity.
_____ Do you interrupt to express your point of view?
_____ Do you ever set the phone down, or pull it away from your ear?
_____ Do you urge others to hurry up, with words like "Yeah, yeah" so you can have your turn to speak?
_____ Do you form opinions before he/she has finished talking?
_____ Do you get uncomfortable when there are pauses in a conversation?
_____ Do you often use a speakerphone when the call is solely between you and another?
_____ Are you thinking about your response while the other person is still talking?
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." ~ Ralph Nichols
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
How are you in a conversation? Do you get impatient? Daydream? Multi-task? Focus solely on the person talking with you? Take the test to find out.
Scale: 1 - Always; 2 - Frequently; 3 - Sometimes; 4 - Never
_____ Do you interrupt others or finish their sentences?
_____ Do you find yourself thinking, "Hurry up! Finish the story already!"
_____ When I'm on the telephone, I often engage in another activity.
_____ Do you interrupt to express your point of view?
_____ Do you ever set the phone down, or pull it away from your ear?
_____ Do you urge others to hurry up, with words like "Yeah, yeah" so you can have your turn to speak?
_____ Do you form opinions before he/she has finished talking?
_____ Do you get uncomfortable when there are pauses in a conversation?
_____ Do you often use a speakerphone when the call is solely between you and another?
_____ Are you thinking about your response while the other person is still talking?
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." ~ Ralph Nichols
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Just because everything is different...
"Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed." ~ Irene Peter
You know the scenario...You're in a job or a relationship where you are not happy, and so you leave. Then you take on a new job, fall head over heels into a new relationship, then at some point in the not so distant future, you find you are unhappy and you are looking to make (yet another) change.
Why does this happen? We have not changed core behaviors and beliefs, and so we keep approaching the different situations with the same behaviors. To successfully reach new and better outcomes we must be committed to the change process. Change is not easy; old habits die hard. Change is especially hard when a behavior or attitude is longstanding. Change requires:
Changing habits begins with recognition, followed by mindful awareness and intention to adjust your thoughts and behaviors until they become habits that serve you.
To adapt habits that make you flourish, you must learn how to manage and maintain balance in your life. You need to look at your past experiences and examine how you were able to successfully change some of your patterns of behavior or attitudes.
Changing habitual behavior is a process. Be patient and be compassionate with yourself. Each of us creates our own journey of releasing bad habits and adopting good habits through conscious choice. Embrace those choices; embrace the changes. They are the catalysts that will improve your life.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
You know the scenario...You're in a job or a relationship where you are not happy, and so you leave. Then you take on a new job, fall head over heels into a new relationship, then at some point in the not so distant future, you find you are unhappy and you are looking to make (yet another) change.
Why does this happen? We have not changed core behaviors and beliefs, and so we keep approaching the different situations with the same behaviors. To successfully reach new and better outcomes we must be committed to the change process. Change is not easy; old habits die hard. Change is especially hard when a behavior or attitude is longstanding. Change requires:
- thinking differently
- acting differently
- commitment
Changing habits begins with recognition, followed by mindful awareness and intention to adjust your thoughts and behaviors until they become habits that serve you.
To adapt habits that make you flourish, you must learn how to manage and maintain balance in your life. You need to look at your past experiences and examine how you were able to successfully change some of your patterns of behavior or attitudes.
Changing habitual behavior is a process. Be patient and be compassionate with yourself. Each of us creates our own journey of releasing bad habits and adopting good habits through conscious choice. Embrace those choices; embrace the changes. They are the catalysts that will improve your life.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Super Words From A Super Man
"We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate...
Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy
prevent us from realizing our potential,
or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves,
our potential is limitless."
~ Christopher Reeve
In 1995 during an equestrian competition, actor Christopher Reeve was thrown from his horse and instantly paralyzed from the neck down and unable to breathe. But he refused, in his own words, to "allow a disability to determine how I live my life."
From the time after his accident up to his death in 2004, Christopher Reeve not only put a human face on spinal cord injury, he motivated neuroscientists around the world to conquer the most complex diseases of the brain and central nervous system.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Monday, March 7, 2011
A Winning Equation
"The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives
by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be."
~ William James
Resilience starts with attitude. Attitude about…
- One's self
- One's abilities
- One's goals and dreams
A resilient attitude is about one's self-worth. Believing one is worthy of success and happiness is necessary in order to improve one's life. Our self-worth drives our motivation to succeed. This is a winning equation.
Self-confidence + Self-worth = Self-esteem
Self-esteem is the combination of our self-confidence and our self-worth. It is the unconditional appreciation of one’s self.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life
Friday, March 4, 2011
Serenity
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, most people are familiar with this first stanza. However, Niebuhr’s prayer also included these concepts:
- Living one day at a time
- Enjoying one moment at a time
- Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
The Serenity Prayer has special meaning to those who are often looking for peace during times of turmoil, despair, or uncertainty in their lives. Closely associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, the Serenity Prayer offers strength and calm into those seeking a more stable life.
"Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control." ~ James Allen
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
About Fear and Anxiety
Fear is a natural reaction of the mind-body system that is triggered by danger. Once danger passes, so does the fear response. The body calms down and returns to normal state of balance.
Anxiety bypasses the body, trapping panicky thoughts. The voice of fear paints scenarios of disaster that seem believable. And panicky thoughts can quickly become obsessive.
As anxiety takes hold it becomes more difficult to make rational decisions and the voice of fear becomes more believable. Rationality is bypassed; what you believe is what matters. And most of the time, what we fear, what we worry about never materializes.
Watch your anxious thoughts. When anxiety or the act of worrying becomes excessive and all consuming, it may be time to talk with your primary care physician.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
Anxiety bypasses the body, trapping panicky thoughts. The voice of fear paints scenarios of disaster that seem believable. And panicky thoughts can quickly become obsessive.
As anxiety takes hold it becomes more difficult to make rational decisions and the voice of fear becomes more believable. Rationality is bypassed; what you believe is what matters. And most of the time, what we fear, what we worry about never materializes.
Watch your anxious thoughts. When anxiety or the act of worrying becomes excessive and all consuming, it may be time to talk with your primary care physician.
Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com
To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.
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