Unless you knew me when I was very a young girl, you might be surprised to learn I was quite the worrier. My mother used to say, “You’re such a Worrywart, Rita.” And the tag fit. I was a worrywart. I did tend to dwell unduly on perceived difficulties in my life that developed a pattern (habitude) of troubled emotions and thought patterns.
Then one day I saw a book on my mother’s nightstand entitled Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The book was a gift to her from her sister Vera. My Aunt Vera was a beloved, albeit feisty, woman ahead of her times. She lived in Hollywood, CA and she was always sending Mom books, articles, and such on personal development. (To this day I carry in my handbag the miniature, red leather copy of As A Man Thinketh by James Allen that she gave my mom back in 1968.)
I devoured Maltz’s book in a matter of days. It seemed that with the turn of each page my mind opened and expanded to a new way of thinking about myself and how I move through the world. By the time I was done, it was crystal clear to me that my thinking truly did affect the outcome of my life.
Now I was about 13 years old when I read that transformative book. Being a voracious reader, I went to the library and began what became my lifelong journey to understand the cycle of how thoughts effect emotions and thus behavior. I gobbled up the writings of untold thinkers, beginning with the Ancient Greek philosophers up to modern-day thought leaders, all of whom had (and have) a very similar message: You are what you think about all day long.
My being a worrywart hasn’t truly dissipated. It is a pattern (neuro-circuitry) of thinking and reacting (habitude) that formed when I was quite young. When times get tough, when something is troubling me, I can feel that old worrywart downward spiral begin. However, what I now do is I recognize the habitude sooner and I put into motion the various strategies I’ve developed for myself to slow down the activity in my mind.
As I said, these habitudes took root and deepened and strengthened at an early. Those of you who have heard me speak, have come to one of my workshops, have heard me share my story of some of the events in my life that shaped my initial belief system.
Worrywarts habitually travel down a dark, long, narrow road replete with obstacles such as fear, all-or-nothing thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Yet, what I know is this. We can change our lives by changing our thinking. We can change our outcomes by exploring those habitudes that don't serve us and by be willing to do the work to strengthen the habitudes that do serve us and create more positive thought patterns.
PS Want to learn more about changing your Habitudes? Check out my Live Online Talks!