Are you feeling challenged by obstacles?

Are you feeling challenged by obstacles? Are you clear as to what that "thing" is that is preventing or hindering your progress?

I view any obstacle that gets in my way as an opportunity to learn something new. It's not always an easy lesson. And sometimes the learning of the lesson takes time, patience, and reflection.

Changing the way we think about obstacles effects our success rate for as the Zen Buddhists say, "The obstacle is the path." To begin, we have to identify the type and source of the obstacle. Ask yourself: Do you view the obstacle metaphorically as a pebble, a rock, or a boulder? Is it external or internal?

External obstacles are those things outside of your control, such as environment, money, physical limitations. Yet, because they are external does not mean you should give up. What is always in your control is how you choose to respond (cognitively) not react (emotionally) to the challenge.

Internal obstacles are things such as fear, self-doubt, and what I call your Habitudes -- Patterns of thought and behavior affecting our attitudes towards life; habitual ways of thinking and acting that may or may not serve you.

Our beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect our reaction to it. The way we think about things can actually give things more meaning than they actually deserve. By giving meaning to things, we give them power in our lives. That's why I asked you to think metaphorically about the obstacle. What is its size? How easily, based on that size - pebble, rock, boulder -- can you remove it from your pathway?

"Obstacles don't have to stop you," said Michael Jordan. "If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

You Determine The Outcome of Your Life: Part 1

Musings from a Recovering Worrywart

Unless you knew me when I was very a young girl, you might be surprised to learn I was quite the worrier. My mother used to say, “You’re such a Worrywart, Rita.” And the tag fit. I was a worrywart. I did tend to dwell unduly on perceived difficulties in my life that developed a pattern (habitude) of troubled emotions and thought patterns.

Then one day I saw a book on my mother’s nightstand entitled Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The book was a gift to her from her sister Vera. My Aunt Vera was a beloved, albeit feisty, woman ahead of her times. She lived in Hollywood, CA and she was always sending Mom books, articles, and such on personal development. (To this day I carry in my handbag the miniature, red leather copy of As A Man Thinketh by James Allen that she gave my mom back in 1968.)  

I devoured Maltz’s book in a matter of days. It seemed that with the turn of each page my mind opened and expanded to a new way of thinking about myself and how I move through the world. By the time I was done, it was crystal clear to me that my thinking truly did affect the outcome of my life. 

Now I was about 13 years old when I read that transformative book. Being a voracious reader, I went to the library and began what became my lifelong journey to understand the cycle of how thoughts effect emotions and thus behavior. I gobbled up the writings of untold thinkers, beginning with the Ancient Greek philosophers up to modern-day thought leaders, all of whom had (and have) a very similar message: You are what you think about all day long. 

My being a worrywart hasn’t truly dissipated. It is a pattern (neuro-circuitry) of thinking and reacting (habitude) that formed when I was quite young. When times get tough, when something is troubling me, I can feel that old worrywart downward spiral begin. However, what I now do is I recognize the habitude sooner and I put into motion the various strategies I’ve developed for myself to slow down the activity in my mind. 

As I said, these habitudes took root and deepened and strengthened at an early. Those of you who have heard me speak, have come to one of my workshops, have heard me share my story of some of the events in my life that shaped my initial belief system. 

Worrywarts habitually travel down a dark, long, narrow road replete with obstacles such as fear, all-or-nothing thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Yet, what I know is this. We can change our lives by changing our thinking. We can change our outcomes by exploring those habitudes that don't serve us and by be willing to do the work to strengthen the habitudes that do serve us and create more positive thought patterns. 

We can travel a different road, enlightened by understanding and widened by a willingness and desire to explore the realm of possibilities. You can change your thinking, change your patterns, and change your life. I know this because I did.
~ Rita

PS Want to learn more about changing your Habitudes? Check out my Live Online Talks! 

Be A Creative Thinker

 Why is it . . .

•     Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• man evolved from monkeys, yet we still have monkeys?
• necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
  

"Good learning starts with questions, not answers," wrote Guy Claxton. And, I will add, sometimes it is the most outrageous questions that can jump start our thinking, get us looking at a problem in a new way.

Creative thinking calls into question the assumptions underlying our usual ways of thinking and acting.

Creative thinkers consider rejecting standardized formats for problem solving. They have an interest in a wide range of related and divergent fields. Creative thinkers take multiple perspectives on a problem and will use trial-and-error methods in their experimentation. When we step into new territories, tentativeness is normal.

Be a creative thinker. Pose new questions to yourself everyday, even outlandish ones like those above. Have a future orientation; have self-confidence and trust in your own judgment. Deepen your self-knowledge by exploring your inner strengths, your weaknesses, your skills, biases, expectations, and fears.

Examine the patterns, the habitudes that are holding you back, keeping you stuck in the 'same old, same old.' As Stephen Covey said, "Live out of your imagination, not your history."

Are You Feeling Challenged By Obstacles?

 Are you feeling challenged by obstacles? Are you clear as to what that "thing" is that is preventing or hindering your progress?

I view any obstacle that gets in my way as an opportunity to learn something new. It's not always an easy lesson. And sometimes the learning of the lesson takes time, patience, and reflection.

Changing the way we think about obstacles effects our success rate for as the Zen Buddhists say, "The obstacle is the path." To begin, we have to identify the type and source of the obstacle. Ask yourself: Do you view the obstacle metaphorically as a pebble, a rock, or a boulder? Is it external or internal?

External obstacles are those things outside of your control, such as environment, money, physical limitations. Yet, because they are external does not mean you should give up. What is always in your control is how you choose to respond (cognitively) not react (emotionally) to the challenge.

Internal obstacles are things such as fear, self-doubt, and what I call your Habitudes -- Patterns of thought and behavior affecting our attitudes towards life; habitual ways of thinking and acting that may or may not serve you.

Our beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect our reaction to it. The way we think about things can actually give things more meaning than they actually deserve. By giving meaning to things, we give them power in our lives. That's why I asked you to think metaphorically about the obstacle. What is its size? How easily, based on that size - pebble, rock, boulder -- can you remove it from your pathway?

"Obstacles don't have to stop you," said Michael Jordan. "If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

Musings from a Recovering Worrywart

Unless you knew me when I was very a young girl, you might be surprised to learn I was quite the worrier. My mother used to say, “You’re such a Worrywart, Rita.” And the tag fit. I was a worrywart. I did tend to dwell unduly on perceived difficulties in my life that developed a pattern (habitude) of troubled emotions and thought patterns.

Then one day I saw a book on my mother’s nightstand entitled Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The book was a gift to her from her sister Vera. My Aunt Vera was a beloved, albeit feisty, woman ahead of her times. She lived in Hollywood, CA and she was always sending Mom books, articles, and such on personal development. (To this day I carry in my handbag the miniature, red leather copy of As A Man Thinketh by James Allen that she gave my mom back in 1968.) 

I devoured Maltz’s book in a matter of days. It seemed that with the turn of each page my mind opened and expanded to a new way of thinking about myself and how I move through the world. By the time I was done, it was crystal clear to me that my thinking truly did affect the outcome of my life.

Now I was about 13 years old when I read that transformative book. Being a voracious reader, I went to the library and began what became my lifelong journey to understand the cycle of how thoughts effect emotions and thus behavior. I gobbled up the writings of untold thinkers, beginning with the Ancient Greek philosophers up to modern-day thought leaders, all of whom had (and have) a very similar message: You are what you think about all day long.

My being a worrywart hasn’t truly dissipated. It is a pattern (neuro-circuitry) of thinking and reacting (habitude) that formed when I was quite young. When times get tough, when something is troubling me, I can feel that old worrywart downward spiral begin. However, what I now do is I recognize the habitude sooner and I put into motion the various strategies I’ve developed for myself to slow down the activity in my mind.

As I said, these habitudes took root and deepened and strengthened at an early. Those of you who have heard me speak, have come to one of my workshops, have heard me share my story of some of the events in my life that shaped my initial belief system.

Worrywarts habitually travel down a dark, long, narrow road replete with obstacles such as fear, all-or-nothing thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Yet, what I know is this. We can change our lives by changing our thinking. We can change our outcomes by exploring those habitudes that don't serve us and by be willing to do the work to strengthen the habitudes that do serve us and create more positive thought patterns.

We can travel a different road, enlightened by understanding and widened by a willingness and desire to explore the realm of possibilities. You can change your thinking, change your patterns, and change your life. I know this because I did.
~ Rita

PS Want to learn more about changing your Habitudes? Check out my Live Online Talks!

When One Door Closes . . .

This has been a different summer for me. While many people's businesses see a winding down over the summer, I have not had that experience -- until this year, that is. You see, I had been planning to spend July in Hawaii and so other than teaching an online course, I did not make any efforts to book speaking engagements this summer. But as can sometimes happen, life threw us a curveball and the door on our Hawaii vacation slammed shut.

Now what? I wondered, "What am I going to do with all this free time on my hands?"

Yes, I had a few coaching clients who were glad to know I was going to be available for in-person sessions. Yet, I still had a lot of unbooked time, and I like being busy.

Then on June 29, I had coffee with my friend Chris Tieri, founder and president of Idea Agency. During our conversation, we got on the topic of getting done things we had been thinking about doing. I shared that I had been thinking about developing online courses based on programs I offer. Chris shared she had been thinking about writing a book. As I drove home from our get together, I started thinking about all the things I, or others have said, that they wanted to do, but were not getting done.

Two days later while in Syracuse, NY for a memorial service, I got together with my cousin Anne. I told her that I was serious thinking about developing online courses on Time Management, Resilience, and so forth. She was quite encouraging. Anne founded eKamria, a web development company, and so she had a lot of thoughts to share with me about online courses.

And then another, very different door opened. Literally. While sitting in the kitchen talking with Anne, my cousins Tony and Stephanie entered. They live in Georgia and we had not seen one another in twenty years. Long story short, they had purchased the family camp on Lake Oneida and were in town to check on the renovations. They were planning to be back in July for three weeks and wanted me to come up for a few days.

"Our kids we be there; Mary's coming in from Texas and Jamie will be around, too. You have to plan to come back."

Well, I certainly had the time to do so, and 6 weeks later I did just that. We found a hotel within 6 miles of the camp. Spent two days and evenings with family I hadn'€™t seen in decades, met many of their children for the very first time. We had a ball!

Anne came out both days too. While sitting by the lake, she asked about my plans for the online courses.

"Up and running," I said. She looked astonished. "Yup, after our talk back on June 1, I went home and researched online platforms. Settled on Thinkific, and launched the Time Management course two nights ago."

"Not only that," I told her, "I storyboarded the next online class, Resilience: The Key to Retirement Well-being and," I added proudly, "I scheduled the next Change Your Habitudes, Change Your Life workshop for October 28."

Anne was, to say the least impressed with all I had accomplished in the 6 weeks since our late night talk around the kitchen table.

"And," I said, "I am planning to launch another onground, six-week program called, Get It Done! It's for serious-minded people who have something they've always talked about doing, and now want to get it done."

Like the saying goes, "When one door closes, another one opens" and here'€™s the proof. The door on my long-awaited vacation in Hawaii may have slammed shut, but many opportunities opened -- spending time with family in New York, developing and putting into place two online courses, developing the Get It Done! 6-week program and scheduling the next Change Your Habitudes, Change Your Life workshop for October 28.

And it's only August 9. Plenty of summertime left!

Breaking the "Same Old Crappy Outcome" Cycle Presented by Rita Schiano

You Determine The Outcome of Your Life

I am going to share with you seven words that are your guide to living a flourishing life. I suggest that you write these seven words as a NOTE TO SELF. Commit these words to memory, tattoo them on your arm if you have to. Do whatever you have to do to commit to memory these seven words to memory.

Are you ready?

"I determine the outcome of my life." Repeat them with me. "I determine the outcome of my life. I determine the outcome of my life."

That’s right. You determine the outcome of your life by the choices you make, by the actions you take, by the decisions and actions you are afraid to make and to take. You determine the outcome of your life.

Your concept of yourself determines the world in which you live. Your concept of yourself determines your reactions and responses to life. How you define yourself – I am ill … I am broke …I am successful – shapes your consciousness. Your concept of yourself is what you accept as true. Your outward world – what you own, how you present yourself – is a manifestation of your inward thought. How we react to our inward expression -- to people, to situations -- reveals where we are psychologically – emotionally and cognitively. And where we are psychologically, determines where we are outwardly.

To be successful in business, a company needs to know where it is heading and what it is trying to accomplish. That’s why many businesses create a vision statement: what the company would like to achieve or accomplish; and a mission statement: how they intend to get there.

To be successful in life, we need to take this same approach in shaping the direction of our personal lives. Your personal vision statement should focus on the potential inherent in the your future, what you intend to be. And while a vision statement might contain references as to how you intend to make that future a reality, the “how” is actually part of your mission statement, a summary of values and goals that clearly outline who you are and what you want to do.

Personal improvement requires insight and courage. When we don't have a vision for the future, we will not necessarily fail, but more likely, we will merely survive rather than thrive, than flourish. Without a vision for the future we stand less of a chance of growing, of expanding, and improving because we have no clear idea of what direction or form this growth, expansion, or improvement should take.

Every action you take is influenced by your attitude towards it. And when your actions and thoughts are not in sync, your life experiences are imbalanced. Just like our bodies thrive in homeostasis --- balance – so do our thoughts and our emotions.

Whatever it is you want to achieve, in your person life, in your professional life, set your intention to achieve it. Make this a habit that serves you.

Set your vision, your imagination, on what it is you want. Imagination is our greatest gift. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” (Einstein) Imagination fuels our thoughts; action makes our thoughts soar. Imagination is the medium through which we create our world. So I ask you: What do you imagine for yourself?

Once you determine want it is you want, devise a course of action, and then take step forward each day, and none back.

Set goals. Goals keep us focused on our message and mission, keep us disciplined in our actions, and help us achieve what we want in life. Goals help us to flourish.

Who is supporting you in your pursuit of your goals? Share your vision with a trusted friend or colleague. Ask them to keep you accountable to the task.

Focus on hope. Let go of “doom and gloom” thinking. Don’t fear change. Change is an invaluable opportunity to learn and to grow. Neville Goddard wrote: “All transformation begins with an intense, burning desire to be transformed.” Direct your thinking. Be open to change. Let go of fearful thinking and attitudes.

Learn to manage your emotions before they manage you. If you want a better outcome, you have to take clear-sighted action. Don’t become a victim of complacency. Remember: You lose 100% of the opportunities you do not take. And if you risk nothing, you risk everything.

You have the power to change your life. You can evolve or devolve -- the choice is yours. So, step out of your comfort zone. Do one thing differently each day. Fall in love with your life. Passion fuels joyful living.

Lastly, make it a practice each day, before you get out of bed, to set your intention for the day. This practice leads to more purposeful living.

You can live fearlessly. Choose to do so.

You Determine The Outcome of Your Life: Part 1

Changing Habitual Behavior

The greatest weapon in our arsenal is our ability to choose one thought over another. But our choices must be wise. So how can you tell if you are making bad choices?

If  you find yourself in the  "different set of circumstance, different situation, same old crappy outcome" trap, then you are ensnared by habits that do not serve you.

To begin to make better choices it is necessary to go back and examine and reflect on past events in order to find the strengths you have within. Many psychologists today preach that it's not really until adulthood that people begin to surmount the difficulties of childhood and to rebuild their lives. But let’s set the record straight. That concept goes back more than 2300 years . . . back to Aristotle.

Aristotle wrote that there are two times in our lives when our character is shaped. The first is when we are children. At this time our habits and attitudes are shaped by our parents and our early teachers who taught us the best they knew how based on what they learned. These early attitudes and habit formations were central to our character development. However, sometimes those lessons were negative.

To adapt habits that make you flourish, you must learn how to manage and maintain balance in your life. To begin this process, you need to look at your past experiences and be willing to take small steps to change the patterns of behavior or attitudes that keep you in the cycle of dysfunction.

Changing habitual behavior is a process. Be patient and be compassionate with yourself. Each of us creates our own journey of releasing bad habits and adopting good habits through conscious choice. Embrace those choices; embrace the changes. They are the catalysts that will improve your life.

Habitual Behavior

To live a flourishing life you begin by uncovering habits that affect how you think and act. Many habits operate without your conscious awareness. Changing habits begins with recognition, followed by mindful awareness and intention to adjust your thoughts and behaviors until they become habits that serve you.

Aristotle proclaimed that there are two times in our lives when our character is shaped. The first is when we are children. At this time our habits and attitudes were shaped by our parents and our early teachers who taught us the best they knew how based on what they learned. These early attitude and habit formations were central to our character development; and sometimes those lessons were negative.

For Aristotle, a habit or hexis is a determinate power to act in a specific way. Habits can foster the good life by cultivating virtue and by developing the passions to feel pleasure and pain in right ways. Happiness is the "chief good" of human life and the most basic requirement of such a life is "activity of the soul in accordance with complete excellence." (Book I, Nichomachean Ethics)

To adapt habits that make you flourish, you must learn how to manage and maintain balance in your life. You need to look at your past experiences and examine how you were able to successfully change some of your patterns of behavior or attitudes.

Changing habitual behavior is a process. Be patient and be compassionate with yourself. Each of us creates our own journey of releasing bad habits and adopting good habits through conscious choice. Embrace those choices; embrace the changes. They are the catalysts that will improve your life.

Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com

To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.

*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life

Thoughts on Resilience - Part Two

Each of us has a considerable capacity for strength. And while sometimes it is easier to embrace being a victim of circumstances, that role removes the obligation to change. Resilient people do not let adversity define them. Instead, they rise above adversity—poverty, abuse, neglect violence, molestation or war—and forge a stronger, more durable character.

Resilience is the means by which we are not immobilized by hardship, but rather bounce back from it stronger, determined, empowered, and able to lead gratifying, flourishing lives.

The greatest weapon in our arsenal is our ability to choose one thought over another. But our choices must be wise. So how can you tell if you are making bad choices? To often we get caught in the ‘Different set of circumstance, different situation, same old crappy outcome’ trap, when we are ensnared by the habits that do not serve us. To begin to make better choices it is necessary to go back and examine and reflect on past events in order to find the strengths you have within.

Many psychologists today preach that it's not really until adulthood that people begin to surmount the difficulties of childhood and to rebuild their lives. But let’s set the record straight. That concept goes back more than 2300 years … back to Aristotle.

In the Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle writes that there are two times in our lives when our character is shaped. The first is when we are children. At this time our habits and attitudes are shaped by our parents and our early teachers, who taught us the best they knew how based on what they learned. While these early rules and habit formations were central to our character development, sometimes these lessons were negative.

Our adult conception of the world, however, comes from within and is self-directed. Thus, Aristotle states, we need to look back at those early lessons, those habits we developed, and determine if they serve us or if they are habits that do not serve us. And then we must ask ourselves, “Is this the kind of person I want to be?”

Have a joyful day everyone...
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com