Are you feeling challenged by obstacles?

Are you feeling challenged by obstacles? Are you clear as to what that "thing" is that is preventing or hindering your progress?

I view any obstacle that gets in my way as an opportunity to learn something new. It's not always an easy lesson. And sometimes the learning of the lesson takes time, patience, and reflection.

Changing the way we think about obstacles effects our success rate for as the Zen Buddhists say, "The obstacle is the path." To begin, we have to identify the type and source of the obstacle. Ask yourself: Do you view the obstacle metaphorically as a pebble, a rock, or a boulder? Is it external or internal?

External obstacles are those things outside of your control, such as environment, money, physical limitations. Yet, because they are external does not mean you should give up. What is always in your control is how you choose to respond (cognitively) not react (emotionally) to the challenge.

Internal obstacles are things such as fear, self-doubt, and what I call your Habitudes -- Patterns of thought and behavior affecting our attitudes towards life; habitual ways of thinking and acting that may or may not serve you.

Our beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect our reaction to it. The way we think about things can actually give things more meaning than they actually deserve. By giving meaning to things, we give them power in our lives. That's why I asked you to think metaphorically about the obstacle. What is its size? How easily, based on that size - pebble, rock, boulder -- can you remove it from your pathway?

"Obstacles don't have to stop you," said Michael Jordan. "If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

If you have been thinking about working with a coach, the time is right.

 "Rita helped me identify areas of improvement and gave me guidance on how to develop resilience within my own life."

Strategic personal and/or professional development coaching is customized specifically to your most important goals, interests, challenges, and needs. 

The goal of private sessions is to offer insight and assistance that will guide you towards actionable, positive changes that will affect all areas of your life. 

Armed with this insight, you will develop a workable plan to manage the challenges that come your way.

I incorporate the Tony Robbins-Madanes Strategic Intervention (also known as SI) practices, which extracts the most practical and effective forms of strategic action and communication from a variety of disciplines.

Invest in Yourself Today! Contact me for an initial consultation. 774-230-5670 or e-mail rita@ritaschiano.com.

Sessions are held in-person in my Sturbridge office or via Zoom or FaceTime, based on your preference.

Are.You Feeling Challenged By Obstacles?

Are you feeling challenged by obstacles? Are you clear as to what that "thing" is that is preventing or hindering your progress?

I view any obstacle that gets in my way as an opportunity to learn something new. It's not always an easy lesson. And sometimes the learning of the lesson takes time, patience, and reflection.

Changing the way we think about obstacles effects our success rate for as the Zen Buddhists say, "The obstacle is the path." To begin, we have to identify the type and source of the obstacle. Ask yourself: Do you view the obstacle metaphorically as a pebble, a rock, or a boulder? Is it external or internal?

External obstacles are those things outside of your control, such as environment, money, physical limitations. Yet, because they are external does not mean you should give up. What is always in your control is how you choose to respond (cognitively) not react (emotionally) to the challenge.

Internal obstacles are things such as fear, self-doubt, and what I call your Habitudes -- Patterns of thought and behavior affecting our attitudes towards life; habitual ways of thinking and acting that may or may not serve you.

Our beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect our reaction to it. The way we think about things can actually give things more meaning than they actually deserve. By giving meaning to things, we give them power in our lives. That's why I asked you to think metaphorically about the obstacle. What is its size? How easily, based on that size - pebble, rock, boulder -- can you remove it from your pathway?

"Obstacles don't have to stop you," said Michael Jordan. "If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

Serenity Now!

 Most people upon hearing the words "serenity now!" recall the famous Seinfeld episode where Frank Costanza is advised to say "serenity now" aloud every time his blood pressure is in danger of going up. The episode's plot was inspired by real-life events of writer Steve Koren who, while driving with his arguing parents, was bewildered to hear his father shout "Serenity now" at the top of his lungs as part of a rage controlling exercise. 

"Calmness of mind" James Allen wrote, "is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control." Like Frank Costanza screaming "serenity now," a churning mind eventually may lead one to blow.  

Often we become anxious about things we cannot change: the economy, the weather, our commute to work. Recognizing the difference between what we can and cannot change can help us live more peaceful and productive lives. Patience and perseverance leads to success in our endeavors.

The Serenity Prayer has special meaning to those who are often looking for peace during times of turmoil, despair, or uncertainty in their lives. Closely associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, the Serenity Prayer offers strength and calm into those seeking a more stable life. Written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, most people are familiar with this first stanza: 

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 
the courage to change the things I can; 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

However, Niebuhr's prayer also included these concepts:

• Living one day at a time
• Enjoying one moment at a time
• Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace

Managing stress is a pathway to having serenity now. Meditation and mindful prayer help the mind and the body to relax and focus. As psychologist Ron Breazeale wrote in an article for Psychology Today entitled "WaysTo Manage Chronic Stress, "these techniques can give you "insight into new perspectives, to develop self-compassion and forgiveness and to begin to rethink the priorities in your life."

Here are a few ABCs to bring serenity into your life now:

Ask:  . . . yourself this question -- What is it about this situation that I can manage?

Breathe: Stop and take 10 mindful breaths. Nothing special is required to do so, just focus. Be aware of your breath coming in and then going out.

Connect:  . . . with a friend. Don’t e-mail or text. Pick up the phone and hear his or her voice. Better yet, plan some face time together. (That's Face time as in getting together, not Facebook time!) 

Do: … absolutely nothing! Spend time with yourself, your thoughts, your dreams.

Exercise: Go for a walk, a bike ride, kayak down a peaceful.

Forgive: . . . yourself first, then others.

Resilient People

 Resilient people have a penchant for learning. They have the ability to reflect upon and recognize objectively their strengths and weaknesses. This self-reflection helps them gain insight into their current circumstances, opening them to new ideas and new tactics for dealing with crises. 

Resilient people have the ability to look at critical situations in a new way, finding creative approaches towards solving a problem. They recognize that life is a series of good times and not so good times, and that you need the bad to appreciate the good. Hard times build character, creating positive lessons that better equip us to cope in the future.

How resilient are you? Visit my web site and download my free "Self-evaluation Resilience Test.

Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com

Follow Live A Flourishing Life on Facebook!

To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com. 

*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life

Thoughts and Beliefs

 

Words to Ponder

"A man is as miserable as he thinks he is." ~ Seneca

Thoughts and Beliefs

Our thoughts and beliefs may be negative, positive or neutral. They may be rational, that is based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. Our thoughts and beliefs are often driven by self-talk: what we tell ourselves and our interpretation of that a situation means. We must be aware of this inner messaging for people can live their whole lives feeling controlled by a critical inner voice without examining the sources of that voice. And those sources may be driven by those irrational, false ideas.

Our self-worth is vital to our happiness. If you don't feel good about yourself, it's hard, as Sandy hale wrote, "to feel good about anything else." Happiness is as much about what you don't want as what you do want. You have much more power over your happiness level than you probably realize. When you make positive changes in yourself and your environment, you raise your disposition toward happiness. So make it a habit to focus on happiness here and now.

Time Management

Time management is a big concern. Our work life and home life is filled with more and more duties and obligations and less and less time to get it all done. And while we've all heard that old saying, "Time flies when you are having fun," truth be told, time flies even when you're not having fun.

An effective time management strategy can help you stay on task, accomplish your work, reduce stress, and gain more time for yourself.

In this 60-minute LIVE program you will learn practical strategies, tools, and techniques you can put into action immediately!

Topics covered include:

• Multi-tasking . . . It's a Myth
• Meet Your Time Bandits
• Obstacles to Effective Time Management
• Managing Interruptions
• Procrastination
• Setting Goals, Establishing Priorities, and Planning
• Tools You Can Use
  • The Time Journal
  • Kaizen
  • Worksheet
  • Creating the "To Do" List
• Scheduling
• Finding Your Timing
• Effective Use of Time: Leaders
  • Meetings
  • Decision-making
  • Delegation

Investment: $47.00

• Monday, 1/9/23: 3:00 p.m.
• Monday, 1/16/23: 9:30 a.m.
• Saturday, 1/21/23: 11:00 a.m.

Don't miss out! Register for Time Management today!

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

When I was young, I was fond of saying, "If someone hurts me, I can forgive, but I'll never forget. "And I'd speak those words with a certain air of hubris, and an implied forewarning: "Don't mess with me. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

When I was young, I had no idea what forgiveness was truly about. Truth be told, I didn't have any real clue about true forgiveness until I was in my early 50s, when I began writing the story about my father.

Until that time, I didn't understand that my issues around trust, and intimacy, and honesty had little to do with the actions of the people in my life, and everything to do with my thoughts, beliefs and judgments about them, about myself, and about me in relation to them.

In the forgiveness work I have done, which began when writing the story about my father, to the practice of forgiveness I continue to do, what I have learned, what I know, is that forgiveness has brought me inner peace, has given me a broader perspective on life, and has made me a person capable of giving and receiving genuine love.

Forgiveness is a gift that we give to ourselves. And now, in this 90-minute LIVE! online program, I will share all that I've learned with you, and offer strategies that will guide to you towards the healing power of forgiveness.

Investment: $59.95

• Thurday, 1/19/23: 10:00 a.m.
• Monday, 1/30/23: 7:00 p.m.
• Wednesday, 2/1/23: 9:00 a.m.
• Saturday, 2/18/23: 11:00 a.m.

Don't miss out! Register for The Healing Power of Forgiveness today!

Strategic Life Coaching / Mentoring

"Rita helped me identify areas of improvement and gave me guidance on how to develop resilience within my own life."

Personal strategic life coaching / mentoring is customized specifically to your most important goals, interests, challenges, and needs. The goal of private sessions is to offer insight and assistance that will guide you towards actionable, positive changes that will affect all areas of your life. Throughout the process we explore the long-standing attitudes and habits that have influenced your life. Armed with this insight, you will develop a workable plan to manage the challenges that come your way.

I incorporate the Robbins-Madanes Strategic Intervention (also known as SI) practices, which extracts the most practical and effective forms of strategic action and communication from a variety of disciplines: Ericksonian therapy, strategic family therapy, Human Needs Psychology, organizational psychology, neurolinguistics, psychology of influence, strategic studies, traditions of diplomacy and negotiation.

Invest in Yourself Today! Contact me for an initial consultation. 774-230-5670 or e-mail rita@ritaschiano.com. Sessions held in person (Sturbridge, MA), or by phone or via Zoom.

Have a blessed and joy-filled day, everyone! . . . Rita

Starting the New Year

 Words to Ponder

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation." ~ Aristotle

Strive For Excellence

Are you a perfectionist? Do you set excessively high performance standards for yourself?

Striving to be the best you can be is a noble goal. Yet, when the pursuit of perfection is accompanied by overly critical self-evaluation, the road can become a slippery slope ending in self-doubt, and even depression.

Think, instead, about shifting your perspective from perfectionism to one of excellence. Excellence is that attainable bar that resides just below perfection. A determined commitment to excellence will enable you to attain the success you desire.

"Excellence," wrote Colin Powell, "is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude," and one, I would add, that is founded in discipline, dedication, and drive.

So, don't get stuck in the muck and mire of perfectionism. Raise yourself up. In all your actions, in all your endeavors, strive for excellence.

Time Management

Time management is a big concern. Our work life and home life is filled with more and more duties and obligations and less and less time to get it all done. And while we've all heard that old saying, "Time flies when you are having fun," truth be told, time flies even when you're not having fun.

An effective time management strategy can help you stay on task, accomplish your work, reduce stress, and gain more time for yourself.

In this 60-minute LIVE program you will learn practical strategies, tools, and techniques you can put into action immediately!

Topics covered include:

• Multi-tasking . . . It's a Myth
• Meet Your Time Bandits
• Obstacles to Effective Time Management
• Managing Interruptions
• Procrastination
• Setting Goals, Establishing Priorities, and Planning
• Tools You Can Use
  • The Time Journal
  • Kaizen
  • Worksheet
  • Creating the "To Do" List
• Scheduling
• Finding Your Timing
• Effective Use of Time: Leaders
  • Meetings
  • Decision-making
  • Delegation

Investment: $47.00

• Monday, 1/9/23: 3:00 p.m.
• Monday, 1/16/23: 9:30 a.m.
• Saturday, 1/21/23: 11:00 a.m.

Don't miss out! Register for Time Management today!

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

When I was young, I was fond of saying, "If someone hurts me, I can forgive, but I'll never forget. "And I'd speak those words with a certain air of hubris, and an implied forewarning: "Don't mess with me. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

When I was young, I had no idea what forgiveness was truly about. Truth be told, I didn't have any real clue about true forgiveness until I was in my early 50s, when I began writing the story about my father.

Until that time, I didn't understand that my issues around trust, and intimacy, and honesty had little to do with the actions of the people in my life, and everything to do with my thoughts, beliefs and judgments about them, about myself, and about me in relation to them.

In the forgiveness work I have done, which began when writing the story about my father, to the practice of forgiveness I continue to do, what I have learned, what I know, is that forgiveness has brought me inner peace, has given me a broader perspective on life, and has made me a person capable of giving and receiving genuine love.

Forgiveness is a gift that we give to ourselves. And now, in this 90-minute LIVE! online program, I will share all that I've learned with you, and offer strategies that will guide to you towards the healing power of forgiveness.

Investment: $59.95

• Thurday, 1/19/23: 10:00 a.m.
• Monday, 1/30/23: 7:00 p.m.
• Wednesday, 2/1/23: 9:00 a.m.
• Saturday, 2/18/23: 11:00 a.m.

Don't miss out! Register for The Healing Power of Forgiveness today!

Strategic Life Coaching / Mentoring

"Rita helped me identify areas of improvement and gave me guidance on how to develop resilience within my own life."

Personal strategic life coaching / mentoring is customized specifically to your most important goals, interests, challenges, and needs. The goal of private sessions is to offer insight and assistance that will guide you towards actionable, positive changes that will affect all areas of your life. Throughout the process we explore the long-standing attitudes and habits that have influenced your life. Armed with this insight, you will develop a workable plan to manage the challenges that come your way.

I incorporate the Robbins-Madanes Strategic Intervention (also known as SI) practices, which extracts the most practical and effective forms of strategic action and communication from a variety of disciplines: Ericksonian therapy, strategic family therapy, Human Needs Psychology, organizational psychology, neurolinguistics, psychology of influence, strategic studies, traditions of diplomacy and negotiation.

Invest in Yourself Today! Contact me for an initial consultation. 774-230-5670 or e-mail rita@ritaschiano.com. Sessions held in person (Sturbridge, MA), or by phone or via Zoom.

Have a joy-filled day, everyone! . . . Rita

Looking Towards 2021

 

Who would have thought back in January, that the year 2020 would be fraught with so much angst, frustration and sorrow? So much loss. Some of you may recall that back in March I sent out a newsletter entitled Isn't it Ironic,looking at how this pandemic was happening in the year 2020 a number associated with vision. The Latin verb specere,which means to see, to look at, to observe, is the root of many words --speculate, perspective, introspection, to name a few.

I discussed the many ways in which the COVID-19 crisis has made many of us feel emotionally farsighted: things that are near to us, life as we know it, was now out of focus. And how this pandemic has also made us feel emotionally myopia: we cannot clearly see what our lives down the road will look like for we are living in the uncharted territory of unabated uncertainty. Even with the vaccine touching the horizon, life will not return to the normal we knew for quite some time as this virus continues to wends its way through the fabric of our lives.

Now the new year is upon us. What will this new year look like for you? What is your plan, your goal for 2021? A fresh start? A desire to make changes (personally and/or professionally) to live a more motivated and inspired life?

To plan for the new year it is important to look back at the past year and examine and make a list of what you've done and what you didn't do; what were your successes and what were your greatest challenges. Create a road map that details your 2020 journey. This map is vital to your success, to plotting the journey that lies ahead.

In creating your New Year goals, your "year in review roadmap" will show you the pattern of missteps and detours that derailed your 2020 goals, allowing you to challenge and change the greatest habits that do not serve you. For our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens. Not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.

We've been living the restricted COVID life for nine months already and, at times, it is tiring and sometimes we may feel we want to rip off that mask and go hug our friends. I know I have felt that way. But we must be vigilant. The vaccine is not a magic bullet and so precautions are still necessary.

Aristotle wrote: The hardest victory is victory over self. I do think this pandemic has given us an invaluable opportunity to learn and to grow. Rather than allowing this crisis to drain your resolve, embrace this as an opportunity to change course. Resilient people know how to tap into that reservoir of determination that allows them to rise up strong and resolute.

"Calmness of mind, James Allen wrote, is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control." Recognizing the difference between what we can and cannot change will help us live more peaceful and productive lives. Patience and perseverance lead to success.

Wishing you all a blessed New Year and the courage, wisdom, and tenacity to get back up when circumstances knock you down, to reach your 2021 goals. ~ Rita

Isn't It Ironic?

I find it somewhat ironic that this pandemic is happening in the year 2020. Think about this: 2020 is associated with vision. The Latin verb specere, which means to see, to look at, to observe, is the root of many words. Take spectacles, for example. I wear eyeglasses to correct my myopia, my nearsightedness. Without glasses I cannot clearly see things that are distant. Spectacles give me 2020 vision.

Those who wear glasses only when reading have hyperopia, farsightedness, which causes things near to them to be out of focus. Spectacles give farsighted people 2020 vision.

In many ways this COVID-19 crisis has made us feel both emotionally farsighted: things that are near to us, life as we know it, is now out of focus, and emotionally myopia: we cannot clearly see what our lives down the road will look like for we are living in the uncharted territory of unabated uncertainty. 

The word speculate also finds its root in that Latin verb. And there is a lot of speculation going on right row.

• How long with our need to be physically distant from one another last?
• When will the curve flatten?
• When will we get back to work?
• Could there be a second coronavirus outbreak if we move too soon?

While the uncertainty we are living with can be overwhelming, we do have a set of tools at our disposal: the skills and attitudes of resilience, which help us get through the difficult times in our lives. 

Our capacity for resilience is hard-wired in our brain, like the fight or flight response. But unlike the fight or flight response, it is not automatic. Our resilience is influenced by our life experiences, by what I call Habitudes, those patterns of thought and behavior affecting our attitudes towards life, and which may or may not serve you. 

We have a strong Mind-Body Connection. Our thoughts influence our bodies directly. COVID-19 is forcing us to change our perspective. Life will not return to normal we knew for quite some time. Our lives will have a new normal and what that new normal will look like is uncertain. However, we can prepare for this by strengthening our resiliency. 

The first weapon in our resilience arsenal is resilient optimism. You're probably familiar with the glass half empty/glass half full way of determining someone's attitude: optimists see it as half full; pessimists see it as half empty. Resilient optimists, however, see it as both, because that is how life’s events are. Resilient optimists take those half empty moments and bring to them other factors of resilience to 'raise the water level' so to speak.

One way this is done is through the resilience skill of flexibility. Being flexible means embracing a willingness to learn and to grow. Being willing to face your fears; to control your attitude, no matter what is going on around you. For our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. 

Another factor is our connectedness to others. This is so critical at this time when we are asked to be physically distant from one another. We need connection. We need to be communicating with one another, which is another aspect of resiliency, whether through social media, FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom. Or how about that old method of communicating: the telephone. True connection is physical. Texting and typing are not enough. 

Another resilience factor is the capacity to manage strong emotions and impulses. Situations happen that are out of our control, like this pandemic. Emotions are a reaction to how we're perceiving our experience. Learning to respond to them, rather than to react, is key. The capacity to manage strong emotions involves being able to take action without being impulsive; to put emotions to the side when clear thinking and action are required.

While it's important to stay informed as to what is going on, it is also crucially important to do so wisely. Avail yourself to those who are presenting the facts without agenda, people such as Dr. Anthony Fauci and Robert Redfield, Director of CDC. These are the people who are telling us the truth of the matter, who are giving us the facts, who are trying to keep everything as stable as possible by making us aware that we must take specific actions in order to flatten that curve and keep the number of cases from spiking up. 

Another factor of resilience is being able to make realistic plans and take action to carry them out. Tackle what I call the "Iwishihads." You know, "I wish I had the time to _______)." Well, folks, now you have the time. Don’t try to rush through the list or you won’t get things done. We all are going to have a lot of time on our hands the next few weeks, and let’s be realistic, most likely even longer.

I want to mention one more factor: Being able to find purpose and meaning in one's life, which leads me to another derivative of that Latin verb, and that is introspection. What are you learning about yourself and your purpose in life? How has this moment in time changed you? Changed your outlook? Hindsight is 2020.

Lastly, there is one more word derived from the Latin verb specere. Respect. COVID-19 has raised our level of respect for doctors, nurses, first responders, and all the unsung heroes who make a hospital function – including custodians, food preparers, laundry services providers. We have gained respect and gratitude for all people who leave their homes each and every day to provide essential services -- from assembly line workers to grocery store clerks to zookeepers. (Yes, zookeepers. Animals need to be cared for too.)

To sum up here are some strategies for managing stress:

• listen to your body and remember to practice mindful breathing several times a day
• remember that your greatest weapon against stress is your ability to choose one thought over another
• acknowledge what you feel and don't deny your feelings
• accept what you feel and don't judge yourself

Strategies for building resilience:

• develop an attitude of optimism
• establish and maintain connections
• limit media coverage
• accept change as part of life
• engage in opportunities of self-discovery

Questions for reflection:
1. What steps will you take to manage your stress?
2. What is on your "Iwishihad" list? What 3 things from that list can you do now that time is more available to you?
3. What are some ways you can engage in opportunities of self-discovery?

That 4-letter "F" Word . . .

Do you sometimes find yourself spewing that 4-letter "F" word?

No, not THAT one . . . I'm talking about that other 4-letter "F" word -- FEAR.

Fear is a distressing negative emotion brought on by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism that triggers your 'fight or flight' response. Our fears, however, can often take on a life of their own and stop us dead in our tracks.

Rejection is an irrational fear that others will not accept us for who we are. Fear of rejection is one of those insidious, perceived threats that can hold you back, keep you from achieving your goals.

Fear of rejection pervades our minds, often rendering us incapable of doing or saying anything for fear of others' rejection, lack of acceptance, or disapproval.

Yes, there will be times in your life when you will face rejection. How will you handle rejection if it does happen?

To start, be prepared. Identify your limiting thoughts, such as...

• People dislike me
•  I am a failure
• I am not worthy of their approval

. . . and then dismiss them one by one. To do so effectively you need to build your self-esteem. And you build self-esteem by understanding your self-worth. So make this list instead . . .

• People like me because...
• I have been successful in...
• I am worthy of others' approval because...

Work on your self-worth list everyday by adding just one good trait about you. Remember my equation: Self-confidence + Self-worth = Self-esteem

Embrace joy, be mindful, live a flourishing life.
~ Rita

Under-performing Employees . . . Bad For Business

Did you know . . .

• Managers waste an average of 34 days per year dealing with under-performance. (Future Foundation)
• Costs of lost productivity easily reach 150% of the annual compensation.
• Average salary $35,000 per year; cost of turnover 150% of salary, is $52,500 per employee who leaves the company.
• The cost will be significantly higher (200% to 250%) for managerial and sales positions. (Bliss & Associates Inc.)
• The cost of hiring and training a new employee can vary from 25% to 200% of annual compensation. (American Management Association)

Employee Attitude Problems? I Can Help!

"Rita helped me identify areas of improvement and gave me guidance on how to develop better time management."

Most of us have been there . . . preparing a performance review for that employee who, on the one hand, is good at his/her job, but on the other hand, whose attitude causes undue disruption, lost time, and even the loss of good employees.
Managing staff comes with many challenges that can test even the most seasoned business professional. Difficult employees engage people in an emotional tug-of-war, which is stressful for the manager and employee alike. And the damage to office morale and overall productivity is great.

Strategic Coaching -- Right For Your Business

Employers and employees alike have discovered the added benefits of coaching:

• increased job satisfaction
• improved communication skills
• improved relationships

By providing individual coaching, you send a powerful message to your employees: Your progress is valued and encouraged.

• Coaching programs have been shown to increase employee retention and engagement, boost productivity, and overcome performance issues. (Zappos Insights)
• Companies that have used professional coaching for business reasons have seen a median return on their investment of 7 times their initial investment. (PricewaterhouseCoopers and Association Resource Centre Inc.)

"Rita is wonderful. She has a way of explaining things and guiding us to understanding by using real-life examples we can grasp."

How Strategic Coaching Works

1. We begin the process by examining the current conflict(s) to uncover long-standing attitudes and habits that influence their reactive behavior.

2. Armed with this insight, we develop strategies to manage the challenges that come their way.

"Rita taught me to awaken positive traits I see in myself or have exhibited in the past. This insight will help me manage current and future stressors."

Personal coaching can focus on one or more of these areas:

• Personal and professional development -- Focuses on helping you perform and execute better at work
• Health and wellness -- Breaking down the habits that serve you and the habits that don't, understanding stress and its effects on your health, building resilience skills and attitudes
• Interpersonal relationships -- Improving communication, conflict and emotional intelligence to enhance your relationship skills
• Work/life balance -- Establishing healthy boundaries between work and personal life
• Achieving success -- Developing the skills, mindsets and strategies needed to succeed and achieve their goals

Sessions held in person or via Doxy.me, Skype or Facetime

Sessions can be held at my office conveniently located at 511 Main St. in Sturbridge, or onsite at your business location. Sessions can also be held via Doxy.me, Skype or Facetime.

Don't Let Employee Difficulties Hurt Your Business

Contact Me Today!

Call Rita at 774-230-5670 or via e-mail: rita@ritaschiano.com to discuss how Strategic Coaching may be right for your organization.
About Rita: As a personal strategic coach, Rita helps clients focus specifically on their most important goals, interests, challenges, and needs, offering insight and assistance that guides them towards actionable, positive changes. Rita received her Strategic Intervention Coaching Certificate from Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention.

Thoughts About Ambition, Achievement, and Fulfillment

A few weeks back a colleague said to me, "I admire how ambitious you are." Her words stopped me.

"Ambitious? You see me as ambitious?" I was puzzled. I never thought of myself in that way, so I had to ponder what she meant by that.

I turned to my internal dictionary and thesaurus -- the one my grandmother had drilled into me as a child by insisting that I learn the list of spelling bee words she tore out of the Sunday paper each week.

Ambitious: a go-getter, power-hungry, zealous. That's not me. Determined. Hmm. Determined. Now that is me. I am determined, purposeful, motivated, and an enthusiastic learner. I am an achiever.

This got me thinking about what is achievement? Achievement is the experience of accomplishment, of attaining the goals you set for yourself. While ambition is the chief driver of achievement, it seems to me they are variables in the equation that equals fulfillment.

Fulfillment is the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted; it is the feeling of satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character. You may have all the success and money in the world, yet be internally bankrupt and feel that life has no meaning.

Fulfillment is accomplished by two things: continuous growth and continuous contribution beyond oneself. It comes from living a life of meaning, of significance. Achievement, however, is pleasure; achievement is of and in the moment.

In my studies in strategic intervention, I learned that the strongest drive in human beings is the "drive for fulfillment, and that all human beings share this need to experience a life of meaning and purpose" (Robbins-Madanes).

Fulfillment can only be achieved when we focus our lives on the need to grow continuously, and the need to contribute beyond ourselves in a meaningful way.

My desire to grow continuously and to contribute beyond myself in a meaningful way is fueled by an inner ambition to do so. Perhaps my colleague was right. I am ambitious.
~ Rita

Practicing Gratitude

Psychological research finds that people's happiness levels are remarkably stable over the long-term. A possible explanation comes from studies in the psychology of gratitude. Yes, you read that correctly -- being thankful just may be the secret to happiness.
The study* cited that people who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier -- they were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives.

The words "gratitude" and "grace" share a common Latin origin, gratus, meaning "pleasing" or "thankful." When you are in a deep state of gratitude, you may feel the presence of grace. Reflect on this. As we become more mindful of the present moment, we begin to recognize the things around us that we may have taken for granted.

Learning to practice gratitude is one of life's most valuable lessons. As Aristotle taught us, all virtues have value and the virtue of gratitude helps to increase feelings of satisfaction with our lives and keeps us from falling into the excess of a greedy or entitled frame of mind.

There are many simple, yet powerful ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis.

• Thank, separately, both the cashier and the bagger at the grocery store.
• Send a hand-written thank you note when you receive a gift, however small.
• Make "thank you" a common phrase in your vocabulary.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Each night write 1-3 things for which you were grateful during the day.

And remember to live a gracious and flourishing life.
Rita

*Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389

Five Dimensions of Leadership

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." ~ William James

When I present leadership program, I often reference information from studies on leadership conducted by McKinsey & Company. While the 5 dimensions discussed below focus on leadership in the workplace, I do think they are quite valuable in how we live our lives in general. Here are some highlights from the article How Centered Leaders Achieve Extraordinary Results.*

McKinsey & Company's Centered Leadership Program distilled a leadership model that is comprised of five interrelated dimensions. This 5-dimensional model is useful for helping people realize their full potential and to maximize the most of your team and process. As the name implies, it’s about having a well of physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual strength that drives personal achievement and, in turn, inspires others to follow.
Centered leadership emphasizes the role of positive emotions.

Meaning or finding your strengths and putting them to work in the service of an inspiring purpose. Meaning is the motivation that moves us. It translates into greater job satisfaction, higher productivity, lower turnover, and increased loyalty.

Managing energy or knowing where your energy comes from, where it goes, and what you can do to manage it. This is where doing the first leadership element -- self-awareness -- can help you identify the conditions and situations that replenish your energy and those that sap it.

Positive framing or adopting a more constructive way to view your world, expand your horizons, and gain the resilience to move ahead even during conflict and crises.

Connecting or identifying who can help you grow, building stronger relationships, and increasing your sense -- and your team’s sense -- of belonging.

Engaging or finding your voice, becoming self-reliant and confident by accepting opportunities and the inherent risks they bring, and collaborating with others.

Reference:
Barsh, J., Mogelof, J. & Webb, C. How Centered Leaders Achieve Extraordinary Results. Retrieved from https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/leadership/how-centered-leaders-achieve-extraordinary-results

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What's Your Vision for 2020?

The new year is here. What will this new year look like for you? What is your plan, your goal for 2020? A fresh start? A desire to make changes (personally and/or professionally) to live a more motivated and inspired life?

To plan for the new year it is important to look back at the past year and examine what you've done and what you didn't do; what were your successes and what were your greatest challenges. Create a road map that details your 2019 journey. This map is vital to your success, to plotting the journey that lies ahead.

In creating your New Year goals, your year in review roadmap will show you the pattern of missteps and detours that derailed your 2019 goals, allowing you to challenge and change the greatest habits that do not serve you.

In preparation for my 2020 undertaking, I have spent the past few weeks examining the process and uncovering my self-sabotaging behaviors and the "explanations" I've attached to them. While I had to contend with some severe health challenges, I can look back at 2019 and see that I really did have the inner strength to push through. In fact, 2019 was my busiest year and I met every obligation and gave my best despite the physical pain.

While I am still finding ways to accept and to deal with some limitations, what I learned about myself in 2019 can be summed up in the lyrics of that Chumbawumba song: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down."

Wishing you all a success-filled new year and the courage, wisdom, and tenacity to get back up when circumstances knock you down and to reach your 2020 goals.