Resilient People

 Resilient people have a penchant for learning. They have the ability to reflect upon and recognize objectively their strengths and weaknesses. This self-reflection helps them gain insight into their current circumstances, opening them to new ideas and new tactics for dealing with crises. 

Resilient people have the ability to look at critical situations in a new way, finding creative approaches towards solving a problem. They recognize that life is a series of good times and not so good times, and that you need the bad to appreciate the good. Hard times build character, creating positive lessons that better equip us to cope in the future.

How resilient are you? Visit my web site and download my free "Self-evaluation Resilience Test.

Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com

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To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com. 

*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life

Thoughts About Resilience - Part One

Resilience is that quality, that ability that enables some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than before. Rather than allowing crises or failure to drain their resolve, they tapped a reservoir of determination that allows them to rise up strong and resolute.

There are several factors that make someone resilient: an attitude of optimism and hope, the ability to manage strong emotions, and the ability to see failure as valuable negative information.

Let’s talk about that F word for a moment. Failure stirs up potent social emotions: humiliation, guilt, shame. Yet, failure is, at worst, a mixed blessing: It hurts, yet, failure can pay off in the form of learning, growth, and wisdom.

Learning is error-driven. Nothing ever invented was created right the first time. I recall hearing the story of Robert Goddard, a physics instructor at Clark University constructed and tested the first liquid fuel rocket in Auburn, Massachusetts, in March of 1926. The rocket flew to an altitude of 41 ft and landed 184 ft away, crashing into the snow. The flight lasted 2.5 seconds. Although the experiment was primitive, the flight was epochal, setting the stage for era of space exploration that’s part and parcel of our history.

The lesson here is that for Goddard, experimental failures were ‘valuable negative information’.

Some psychologists argue that adversity, setbacks, and even trauma may actually be necessary for people to be happy, successful, and fulfilled. There’s even a term for it: "Post-traumatic growth." To support this they point to successful people such as Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey – folks who credit their accomplishments to earlier failures and childhood traumas that pushed them to the edge of the abyss. Nietzsche: “When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”

Setbacks actually force us to take risks, to learn, and to grow. Failure is an opportunity to change course. We must learn to seize it, rather than be seized by it.

Have a joyful day everyone...
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com

The Remarkable Power of Resilience

Often we talk about resilience  as that extraordinary capacity some people have for bouncing back in the face of adversity, trauma, or tragedy. And while research has shown that resilience is ordinary and not extraordinary, and that people commonly demonstrate the characteristics and factors that make for resilience, sometimes we do witness extraordinary examples of lives transformed through the power of resilience.

When I think about the remarkable power of resilience, two people come to mind immediately: Congresswoman Gabrielle "Gabby" Giffords and her husband, Commander Mark Kelly.  Giffords, as you may recall, was shot in the head by Jared Laughner in 2011. While doctors were cautiously optimistic about her recovery, Commander Kelly had little doubt his Gabby would recover. He knew his wife embodied "The Right Stuff," beginning with a firm attitude of optimism, and so he encouraged her doctors to develop a resilience plan as part of her recovery. 

A resilience plan has been shown to reduce the frequency and intensity of post-traumatic stress disorders and other health problems that occur after a personal disaster, allowing those affected to recover more quickly and completely.

During the couple's interview with Diane Sawyer, we were reminded how Gabby was once called, "the most positive person in Congress," quite a feat considering the craziness that occurs daily on Capitol Hill. Knowing that optimism was at the core of Gabby's being, and his belief that "Optimism is a form of healing; hope is a form of love," Kelly posted a sign outside her hospital room for visitors: No Crying.

Resilient optimism is not the rose-colored glasses view of the world. Resilient optimism recognizes that bad things happen. Yet, rather than wallowing in catastrophic thinking -- that tendency to assume the worst and to perseverate about irrational worst-case outcomes -- resilient optimists acknowledge and manage their strong feelings, looking for the valuable negative information that edifies the foundation of the learning experience 

Research on resilience has also shown us that people who struggle with their emotions, fear in particularly, may become more restrictive and rigid in their view of the themselves and their place in the world. To help Gabby hold on to that attitude of optimism and build her inner strength, the doctors advised that she be kept unaware of the full extent of the tragedy that occurred that day -- the lives lost, the people injured – until her road to recovery was more firmly established.

Studies in resilience, too, have repeatedly underscored the significance of social relationships, our connectedness to others. Visits from family and friends offered Gabby encouragement and confidence.

Another example of the remarkable power of resilience is Christopher Reeve. On May 27, 1995, actor Christopher Reeve was thrown headfirst from his horse during a jumping competition, shattering the first two vertebrae in his neck. Upon regaining consciousness and realizing he was totally paralyzed, Reeve thought that the best thing to do would be "to slip away."

Unable to speak because he had no ability to exhale air, he mouthed to his wife Dana, "Maybe we should let me go."

Dana responded, "I will support whatever you want to do, because this is your life, and your decision. But I want you to know that I'll be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You are still you. And I love you."  Her response is another example of the resilient power of our connected to others. Reeve wrote, "She made living seem possible, because I felt the depth of her love and commitment."

While catastrophic thinking -- ruminating about irrational worst-case outcomes -- is contrary to resilience, it is not uncommon for survivors of catastrophic accidents to think obsessively about what happened. Reeve said that for the first year he "wondered over and over about the accident. The jump was a relatively easy one. Why did his horse balk at this jump? Was it a freak accident? Did he move forward in the saddle before he should have?" However, as his resilient spirit grew stronger, he realized that endless speculation about what happened served no purpose other than to torment him.

So what can we learn from these three resilient spirits? I offer the following:

• Acknowledge that loss or illness is inevitable. By developing and nurturing a resilient spirit at the core of our being, little that can transpire that can affect us permanently.
• Know that connectedness to others is vital, and so we must cultivate relationships that create love and trust.
• Learn to communicate effectively your needs.
• Be flexible; accept that change is a part of living. 
• Develop goals and realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
• Live an authentic life. Believe in what you do and do it with joy, gratitude, and grace.
• Find the positive in experiences and avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
• Be spiritually connected, whether through an organized religion or by adopting a philosophy of life.

Christopher Reeve, in writing about his spiritual journey, said: "I have come to believe that spirituality is found in the way we live our daily lives. It means spending time thinking about others. It's not so hard to imagine that there is some kind of higher power. We don't have to know what form it takes or exactly where it exists; just to honor it and try to live by it is enough."

It's Brutal Honesty Time

This is not the blog I intended to write today. My intention was to write an uplifting article about the remarkable power of resilience, but I had to finish another assignment first. This is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and I had to write an article about dangerous websites that promote eating disorders.

As I was researching these websites I felt my insides literally churning. As I wrote about the need to instill in teens and adolescents messages of body confidence, hope and self-esteem, I came face-to-face with a brutal truth: I was disingenuous.

For years I've written, spoke, , trained about the importance of understanding one's self-worth. I even coined the phrase that self-worth is one element of the equation that makes for self-esteem: Self-confidence plus self-worth equals self-esteem. And let me tell you, I talk the talk about this pretty darned well. I encourage people to look at themselves in the mirror, to look straight into their eyes and tell themselves one good thing about themselves every day. I have them do this exercise to build a list of characteristics and traits that comprise their self-worth. And I encourage them to do this exercise with their children, too, because I do believe that if one is clear about one's self-worth, it is harder for one's self-confidence to be shaken. Or if one's self-confidence is shaken, rattled and rolled, you will be able to pick yourself up off the floor much quicker.

I also write, speak, teach, and train about the importance of exploring one's life story and getting to the truth of the habits that do not serve you. Our adult conception of the world comes from within and is self-directed. And so we need to look back at those early lessons, those habits we have developed, and determine if they serve us or if they do not serve us. And then we must ask ourselves: Is this the kind of person I want to be? I teach this because I do believe that it is in examining and understanding the larger context of our lives that we can live a more flourishing life.

So, why have I been disingenuous? Okay... Here it goes. (Read full article here)

8 Ways To Bring Stillness Into Your Life

Deepak Chopra wrote: "Silence is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it. There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence."

Noise is a prime environmental cause of stress. Noise pollution triggers the body's stress response, releasing stress hormones into your autonomic nervous system. In recent years, stress hormones such as adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol have been used in noise studies to gauge the association between noise exposure and heart disease, hypertension and stress. (Read full post at The Huffington Post and AOL Healthy Living.)

Characteristics Of Resilient People - 6

Characteristic #6: Have deep-rooted faith in a system of meaning (religious or philosophical).

In 1902, William James wrote The Varieties of Religious Experience in which he detailed the universal belief systems of human beings. Now, a little more than a century later, scientists report they have located the part of the brain that controls religious faith — known euphemistically as the 'God spot.' The researchers’ findings support the idea that the brain's evolvement to belief systems was a means of improving our chances of survival, thus a belief in God became widespread in human evolutionary history.

Regardless as to whether God exists or not, we do know that people with religious or spiritual beliefs tend to be more content and are better able to cope with tragedies and crises. Faith acts as a stimulus, driving us to aspire to achieve the seemingly impossible. Faith drives away fear. Faith frees us from the need to be in control during uncontrollable circumstances.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Have a joyful day everyone. And remember to live a flourishing life.
Rita
www.ritaschiano.com

To learn more about how you can live a flourishing life, please visit my web site, www.liveaflourishinglife.com.

*Excerpt from Live A Flourishing Life